What is Submarining? What are the underlying causes?

Expert Clinical Psychologist Aslı KanHe gave important information about the subject. Submarining has become one of the biggest challenges facing modern romantic relationships. This term refers to when a partner suddenly and without explanation disappears from a relationship and, after a while, returns to the relationship as if nothing had happened. This results in an unexpected and often unpleasant surprise, such as the submarine diving underwater and resurfacing.

The reasons behind submarining behavior are various, but can generally be listed as personal uncertainties, attachment problems or changes in relationship dynamics. Submarining is more common in individuals with avoidant and insecure anxious attachment styles. These people often have difficulty establishing trust and closeness in relationships. While avoidantly attached individuals avoid getting too close emotionally; Those with insecurely anxious attachments may constantly seek approval and reassurance out of fear of rejection. This leads to ebb and flow relationship dynamics. Whatever the reason, this behavior style can lead to trust issues and communication breakdowns in the relationship. Submarining wears out the other party both emotionally and mentally and alienates them from openness and honesty, which are the cornerstones of a healthy relationship.

1. Communicate Openly: Clearly express how you feel and your expectations in your relationship. Talk honestly about the impact such behavior has on your relationship with the other person.

2. Set Your Boundaries: Clearly define your own emotional boundaries and expect them to be respected. If someone does not comply with these boundaries, do not hesitate to express this clearly.

3. Know Your Value: Knowing your own worth and the treatment you deserve helps you make healthy decisions in relationships. Behaviors such as submarining often create imbalance in the relationship; Therefore, it is important to protect yourself in such a situation.

When faced with such situations, it is vital that mutual needs are clearly expressed. Talking honestly about how you feel, what you expect, and what you need in your relationship is key to building a healthy foundation. For example, if someone is constantly coming and going from your life, clearly express how this affects you. Likewise, be clear about what you expect emotionally from the other person and what is unacceptable.

Expert Clinical Psychologist Aslı Kan"Knowing your self-worth and setting healthy boundaries will help you protect yourself in such challenging relationship dynamics. Behaviors such as submarining often create imbalance in the relationship; Therefore, it is important to set clear boundaries and expectations to protect yourself from this cycle. Remember, we all deserve to be respected, loved and emotionally supported. The difficulties we face in our relationships provide us with opportunities to better understand ourselves and our relationships. "By investing in ourselves and our relationships, we can step into a healthier and happier future," he said.