Üsküdar University NP Feneryolu Medical Center Specialist Clinical Psychologist Merve Umay Candaş Demir drew attention to what needs to be done in a healthy family relationship.
Specialist Clinical Psychologist Merve Umay Candaş Demir, who noted that marriage is a long journey that both individuals embark on with the motivation to establish a common life and that they should live every day with care, emphasized that the biggest problems in marriage begin with the loss of care between people.
Emphasizing the importance of open communication in family relations, Demir noted that marriage should not be allowed to become ordinary and emotional investments should not be abandoned, and that problems should be discussed openly without neglecting and solutions should be produced.
“We must learn to share with our family”
Specialist Clinical Psychologist Merve Umay Candaş Demir, who stated that open communication is very important in family communication, said, “We should learn to share our feelings, thoughts and feelings with our family, to increase the quality of sharing, and most importantly, we should encourage our family members in this direction. Therefore, it is useful to express a situation that we are uncomfortable with without distinguishing any problem, by sharing healthy behavior without delaying the behavior and without allowing the problem to grow.” said.
“Discord and disagreements must be taken seriously”
Expressing that severe incompatibility and disagreement is a situation that should be taken seriously at any level, Demir said, “People may have accumulations and gains that prevent healthy communication without even realizing it. Any sharing that prevents communication and transfer of emotions can lead to insoluble problems and make them inextricable.” used his statements.
“Professional support should be sought for the problems experienced”
Emphasizing the importance of timely and correct intervention to the problem, Demir said, “If you think that you are inadequate in solving problems or that you are alone, you can apply for professional psychological support. Many problems experienced between spouses can be overcome with couple therapists or with the spouses receiving psychological support. We all need a professional look from afar that will make sense of what we cannot see when we look very closely.” he said.
“Responsibility should be shared in child care”
Demir mentioned that having a child is a joint responsibility of couples and made the following recommendations:
“Both spouses have the same or similar responsibilities. First of all, spouses should be aware of this situation. This should be the first rule to avoid conflicts. In child development, sharing the expectations of both spouses about child responsibility and developing empathy in this direction will prevent conflicts. If the social and work life of one of the parents causes disruptions in the child care and development process, this issue should be shared transparently between the spouses and solutions should be sought on compensation or alternatives.
“The development of the child may be adversely affected”
Stating that children need effective communication with their parents in order for them to have a healthy development process, Demir said, “Parents' conflicts over the child's most basic need, 'care', can leave negative traces in many psychological, academic and social areas. Parents should be aware of this and develop correct behavior and gain awareness. The easiest way to do this is for the spouses to make an effort to understand each other.” said.
“Mutual care should not be lost, ordinaryness should be avoided”
Expressing that marriage is a long journey that both individuals embark on with the motivation to establish a common life and that they should live every day with care, Demir said, “The biggest problems in marriage start with the loss of care between people. In marriages that are allowed to become ordinary, feelings and behaviors that cause fundamental breakage such as abandoning emotional investments, losing empathy between spouses, allowing work and social life to come before the spouse should be avoided. warned.
“Marriage is flapping wings together”
Stating that spouses should respect each other's space and allow them to breathe in their own space, Demir said, “Marriage is not a bondage or shackle, on the contrary, it is flapping wings with the person you are with. Being aware of this cycle ensures that the spouses have a healthy family structure. Desired respect in every relationship is actually a sine qua non of marriage.” he said.